I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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