at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
