you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
