i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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