But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
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