Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
