i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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