Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
