when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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