Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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