just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
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