Soap is not a condiment
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
