oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
