You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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