is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Randomize
