Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
