i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
it's like iHOP with fire
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
