I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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