apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
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Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
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I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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