and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Randomize
