those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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