Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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