3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
