I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Randomize
