i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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