This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I intend to get homeless drunk
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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