Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize