I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
