my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
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