im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
