You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Who died my cat blue again?
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
