I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
