omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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