So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
