I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
