he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
