I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
