either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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