just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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