Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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