"it" just moved
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
