We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
