Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
