I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
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