White coat. Heels.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Randomize
