i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
