Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Is it because I queefed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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