I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Randomize
