i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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