remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
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