I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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