I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize