Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
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