you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Drunk is not a location!
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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