that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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