It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
