Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
it was like his penis was on wheels.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
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