i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
