Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
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