Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
