This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
