You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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