Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
