This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
