Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize
