the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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