don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
