saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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