What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I just gargled with NyQuil
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
