I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
