Me too!
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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